Many of us that love to visit
auctions and please bear in mind, I am speaking from experiences in the UK, do
so to the local or provincial (as some people would say) auction houses. As
much as some of us would love to visit and possibly buy at a Sotheby’s, Cristie’s
or Bonham’s auction anything that starts with a bid of £100,000 is probably out
of our price range. When you see a painting sell for £46M you think that’s
heading for somebody’s bank vault, rather than being displayed on the wall in
the lounge.
The
Vincent van Gogh painting The Allee Of Alyscamps sold for nearly £46 million
(Sotheby's/AP)
So armed with your pre-printed copy
of the catalogue (or not, if the auction house hasn’t got an on-line presence,
which means you have to buy one for a couple of quid), it’s off to the auction
houses viewing day you go.
Viewing Day
I love viewing day almost as much as
the actual auction and very much for the same reason, People watching and also
their antics. The auction house will in the main secure all the valuable items
in cabinets and have staff who will happily get items out for you to look at.
Furniture is also safeguarded from damage before the auction by putting small
squares of carpet on the tops if for example chairs are placed on top. There
are also china and porcelain items on tables or on bookcases and then you get
down to the boxes of miscellaneous. So
with the auction trying to ensure that everything they are selling for someone
else (hold that thought for a moment), why do people (potential buyers) think
it right and proper to rummage and yes I mean rummage through items without any
care or thought for others property. I know my mother used to say “you look
with eyes not your fingers” and a lot of the time, if you are going to be
spending money you need to make sure you are happy you know what you are
buying. However, this does not make it right for a viewer (and I have seen this
done), to pick something up and put it back none to carefully causing either
minor damage or in the case I saw, broken in two and then act as if nothing
happened. When I go on viewing day and decide to have a punt on something, if possible
always go early on auction day and make
sure the item remains undamaged.
The people watching thing is just
great, they try not to look as if they are interested or make some disparaging
remark about it and when move away and watch the, they go straight back to the
item and pore all over it. You then get the viewers who want to tell everyone
the full extent of their knowledge , which in some cases is not a lot. There
are also people you know, (acquaintances you have made) who spot you
immediately you arrive and tell you to look at “lot so and so”, which
immediately, if you happen to be me makes you think what else is there that I
might miss if I go straight for the item.
There is normally a lot to see at
viewing and even when it comes to the auction day and it comes up as the lot, I
have been known to say to myself, where was that hiding? I never saw that. Many
an impulse buy has fallen prey to that scenario. Anyway, you have seen what you
like and it’s off home to check out a couple of items you have seen but don’t know
too much about on the internet before the big day.
Auctioneer – Salesman or Showman?
Before anyone gets politically
correct on me, yes I know there are a lot of lady auctioneers but salesperson
or showperson just doesn’t sit right on a heading. Come to think of it adding
saleswoman or showwoman to the end of the would make it too long anyway. Back
to the auction day. The auctioneer is salesman, showman, public speaker, master
of all he surveys and if he says it’s Tuesday, It’s Tuesday, irrespective of
what day of the week it is. Most of them start with a quip or two and become
their own warmup act. He lays out the rules of which there are not usually many,
have you got your bidding number, keep the talking down to a minimum, that sort
of thing. I have yet to see any auctioneer hold their arms out and demonstrate
that the emergency exits are here, here and here but you get the idea.
Be honest how do you sell something
you actually give house room to. Like the 1984 Sun newspaper page three calendar.
For those who from outside the UK. The SUN newspaper is a tabloid paper and
page three was the nubile young thing bare chested, with the comment that she
wanted to save the world or animals or some such thing. Well believe it or not
it sold for £10, the start was £10 and dropped to £5 and with a bit of banter from
the auctioneer and the male participants in the room it finally made it back to
£10.
On the other hand there are auctions
where you think they are being held in a funeral home. Nobody moves, nobody
wants to bid a lot and the auctioneer really does have to work his or her socks
off. I was at one auction where the auctioneer to a drink of water, called his
porter all the way from the back of the room, down to the front and the said
“hold your hands out”, what for replied the porter, “Well I thought if we joined
hands we could contact this lot and failing that there must be people on the other
side who want to buy this stuff”.
I said about people watching, one
auction I went to fairly regularly was attended by a stamp dealer formerly from
London but now retired locally. Lovely guy and knew more than I ever will, he
had apparently had a shop in London but had retired and stamps were his
passion. He knew that I liked Bone China and that I had bought some of the
Royal Doulton figurines. He said, Nice collection of figurines in the cupboard.
Yes I said saw those yesterday, there is not a lot of market for them though.
He said you won’t get a look in. Why not? There’s a guy that comes all the way
from a town some distance a way catches three buses to get here and he will
take the lot. Can’t miss him, shuffles, comes with an oilcloth bag and sits at
the front, if he can get a seat. These items would sell about an hour to an
hour and half into the auction. Sure enough fifty minutes later in he comes,
shuffles his way through the crowd, brown oil cloth bag and makes for the only
seat on the end of a row third one back.
Of the figurines, there was only really
one I wanted and could make money at it. Up to the point of this lot he had
scooped them all with little or no resistance to speak of. This lot came up and
the stamp dealer started the bidding, which I thought was strange, so I chimed
in before Shuffly got a look in and then the stamp dealer gave up, only for it to
be taken up by Shuffly himself. I kept on but got to a point where it was principle
rather than price. I got the price I knew I could sell it for and when Shuffly
put in one more bid, I thought let him have it.
At the end of the day
I just love local auctions, they
range from white goods, toys, through the whole gamut of items to some very
fine jewellery and the odd proper antique. Without them, people would have nowhere
to empty their garages to or if like me you empty your garage one month and
fill back up with different stuff the next. It is a never ending circle.
I hope you have enjoyed reading this
as much as I have writing it. If you have any auction stories you would like to
share, please leave me a comment with your auction experience.
